What are the essential rules for the most common social situations in China?

3 core rules:

1. Use surname + title, not first name
2. Receive any business card with both hands; read it; place it respectfully
3. Handshake is the standard greeting — no hugging or cheek kisses

Never:

• Point with one finger
• Make the first conversation about money, political views, or personal questions
• Correct them publicly if something comes up wrong

Safe opening topics: Food ("What's the best local dish I should try?"), travel ("Have you been to X?"), weather, sports, and their work in broad terms.

3 core rules:

1. Bring a gift — fruit, quality tea, wine, or a host gift in the ¥100–300 range
2. Remove shoes at the entrance without being asked
3. Let the host seat you; do not eat until the host signals the start

Never:

• Arrive empty-handed
• Keep your shoes on
• Stick chopsticks vertically into rice
• Refuse food persistently — accept what the host puts on your plate

Easy wins: Compliment every dish loudly. Help with small tasks (carrying dishes, pouring tea). Offer to do dishes — they will refuse, but the gesture counts. Say 太麻烦你了 (tài máfan nǐ le) when leaving.

3 core rules:

1. Pour for others before yourself
2. Hold your glass lower than the elder/senior's glass when toasting
3. If you cannot drink, say so early and warmly — offer tea or juice as substitute

Never:

• Decline a host's toast without acknowledging it at all
• Fill your own glass while others' are empty
• Drink without waiting for the first group toast (干杯, gānbēi)

Useful phrases:
我以茶代酒，真诚敬您 (wǒ yǐ chá dài jiǔ — I toast you sincerely with tea).
干杯！(gānbēi — cheers!)
随意 (suíyì — at your own pace / casual sip is fine).

Card 4: Receiving a Gift or Red Envelope

1. Accept with both hands and a warm thank-you
2. Set it aside without opening it in front of the giver
3. Follow up later with a thank-you message

Never count money in front of the giver. Never comment on whether the amount is too much or too little.

Card 5: Chinese Business Meeting

1. Arrive on time or 5 minutes early
2. Exchange and carefully review business cards at the start
3. Let the senior person on their side speak first; match their pace

Never disagree publicly. Never check your phone during the meeting unless it is clearly accepted in the context. Never push for a direct yes/no if the answer is being kept deliberately vague.

Card 6: Chinese Restaurant

1. Let the host order — or ask "what do you recommend here?" rather than ordering independently
2. Dishes are shared; serve others before yourself
3. The person who invited pays — do not split the bill at a hosted dinner

Never try to split a bill the host has clearly claimed. Never use your personal chopsticks to serve from shared dishes at a formal setting — use serving chopsticks if available. Never leave without saying thank you to the host specifically.

• 久仰大名 | jiǔ yǎng dà míng | "I've long heard of your great name" | Use when meeting someone prestigious or famous for the first time.
• 哪里哪里 | nǎ lǐ nǎ lǐ | "Where, where?" (humble denial) | Reply to compliments; shows humility in Chinese culture.
• 请多指教 | qǐng duō zhǐ jiào | "Please give me your guidance" | Use when meeting new people or starting a collaboration.

Business Card Exchange: Still standard in formal business settings across China. Gen Z uses digital名片交换 less, but older generations and Beijing/Shanghai corporate culture still insists on physical cards.

Dining Etiquette: Host always pays—still strong norm, especially in smaller cities where "losing face" matters more. Gen Z in一线城市 splits bills more often; older generations view this as rude.

Gift-Giving: Still prevalent but declining in urban areas. Beijing/Shanghai younger crowds exchange gifts less frequently; smaller cities and older generations maintain traditional 送礼 culture.

Tea Pouring: Traditional etiquette fading fast among Gen Z nationally. Still observed in formal settings and by older generations, particularly outside major cities.

Overall: Etiquette rules persist strongest in smaller cities and with older generations. Urban Gen Z adopts more casual, Western-influenced social norms while maintaining cultural basics.