Be Honest, Not Naive

At a relaxed dinner in Shenzhen, a Berlin startup founder tells a friendly potential partner her target budget, her deadline, the investor pressure behind the deal, and the lowest price she can accept. She has not lied; in fact, she is proud of being transparent. The next morning, the negotiation changes completely.

Where is the line between honest communication and giving away information that the relationship has not yet earned?

How to Be Open Without Giving Away Too Much

There is an old Chinese saying:

逢人且说三分话，未可全抛一片心。 Do not tell everyone everything in your heart.

At first, this sounds cynical.

Should you distrust everyone?

Should you hide your real thoughts?

Should you become calculating?

No.

The useful lesson is much simpler:

Honesty does not require complete disclosure.

You can tell the truth without telling everybody everything.

That distinction is essential in friendship, work, negotiation, and business.

Suppose a potential business partner asks:

“Who are all your customers?”

You have three choices.

You can lie.

You can hand over your entire customer list.

Or you can say:

“We work with several clients in this industry, but we keep individual customer information confidential.”

The third answer is completely honest.

You simply have a boundary.

This is the difference between being honest and being naïve.

Someone asks:

“How much money do you make?”

“What is your absolute lowest price?”

“How much budget do you really have?”

“Who else are you negotiating with?”

“What did your boss privately tell you?”

A question does not automatically create an obligation to answer.

You can say:

“I'd rather keep that private.”

“I can't share that information.”

“We're still evaluating several options.”

“That's confidential.”

There is nothing dishonest about these answers.

One of the most useful social skills is learning to say:

“I won't answer”

without feeling that you must either lie or surrender the information.